This article was originally published on PhiladelphiaMFT.com. Be sure to check out their site for professional relationship and sex advice.
Relationships often go through their fair share of ups and downs. It’s natural to have times when things just aren’t what they used to be on the romantic front. I like to refer to these periods as times when the “love is low”. Stressors on the relationship both internally and externally can make you feel emotionally distant from your partner, which can impact your level of intimacy. Here are three things you can do to survive periods when the “love is low”.
1. Acknowledge the Issue
Being able to recognize that you’re in a downtime in your relationship is key to surviving it. Pin pointing the when, why, and how of why your relationship has changed can give you and your partner some clarity on how to rectify it.
2. Recognize it Happens to Everyone
“Comparison is the thief of joy” is one of my favorite quotes by Theodore Roosevelt and it applies perfectly to any situation in life but especially relationships. When we’re unhappy in our relationships, we tend to focus on how happy everyone seems in theirs. No matter how happy others appear to be, you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors. Your energy should be channeled into doing whatever is necessary to revive your relationship.
3. Focus on Friendship & Respect
Finally, focusing on maintaining a level of friendship and respect can help your relationship survive the loveless storm. When you establish a certain level of respect and friendship with someone, you are more willing to put in the effort you need to keep your relationship going. You are also less willing to hurt your partner during difficult times when your love is rooted in friendship and respect.
The happiest couples are susceptible to falling into a loveless lull. Be hopeful and persistent with the above steps and work to restore what you feel is lost in your relationship.
Alanna Gardner, MFT is a sex and family therapist practicing in Philadelphia. She is also a main contributor to TheUrbanRealist. For more advice and encouragement from Alanna follow her here.
