Relationships can be scary things. They require a degree of commitment, openness, and a lot of love and affection, and for some of us, that can be hard! And if you’re someone with a string of failed relationships behind you, it can be hard to look to the future with an optimistic mindset. Who knows if you’ll find someone you can be yourself with?
So, it’s time to try and beat that negative and self defeating mindset away. Now’s your chance to make some good on yourself, and help yourself out in any future relationships you may have a chance at. You deserve some loving, so go get it!
1. Remember, Not Everyone Will Be the Same
If you’ve had troubles in the past, and you’ve never quite found ‘the one’ (despite really wanting to!), you need to keep in mind that not everyone is the same. People aren’t always going to treat you wrong, and not everyone thinks the same – what your last partner might have thought of as silly, a new partner might think is cute and quirky!
2. There’s People Around You to Rely on
You’re always going to have at least one person in your life who you can go to when you’re worried about your love life. You’ll have a parent, or a friend, or even just someone you message back and forth online to vent to, and that’s key to remember! You’re never going to be alone, even if the relationship you thought was a last chance goes bad. You’re not isolated, and you can reach out if need be.
And of course, having a link like http://divorceattorneystulsa.net/ on your side just in case can really take the weight off, and show you some healthy and productive options for the future. Don’t think of planning ahead as second guessing yourself and your relationship. If you’re both smart and responsible people, a contingency plan makes sense, even if you’re in the honeymoon phase.
3. Learn to Control Your Thoughts
And finally, if you can teach yourself how to banish those defeating thoughts away, you’re going to be in a much better place than ever before. You’ll be able to dispute doubts with rational thoughts and evidence (or a lack of it, to be truthful!). In maintaining a relationship, this is crucial, as you can start to act as your own anchor.
You can be your own best friend here; never let an ‘automatic thought’ take place in your mind, and if a thought bothers you, stop and think about it. Take that first thought about loneliness or unworthiness and replace it with, ‘Where is the evidence for this?’ This is a real CBT method for lifting self esteem, and it’s one of the most approachable methods to pick up from home.
Relationships deserve to be loving and happy, and you don’t have to worry about what might happen in the future. Keep the above tips in mind to help yourself towards happiness!