UR WARNING: 5 Signs You’re Dating a SOCIOPATH!
Written by Andrea Duke
The new guy you’re dating seems pretty perfect. He’s confident, charming, outgoing, and always looks deep into your eyes when holding conversation. Qualities like these may seem reserved for only the perfect man, but what if I told you that I actually just described the perfect sociopath?
It may seem pretty far-fetched for you to even think about your new seemingly perfect man to be a sociopath, but roughly every one in 25 Americans can be defined as such according to Dr. Martha Stout, Harvard psychologist and author of The Sociopath Next Door.
Recently, I was in a relationship with a sociopath and during our six months together, I always felt there was just something not quite right with his personality. To me, I thought it was an issue of a possible identity crisis, but looking back on even the smallest of incidents, his personality paralleled that of a sociopath.
Sociopaths aren’t always dangerous criminals as they are often described, but they sure will make a relationship insanely confusing and difficult. Learn from my experience, and check out 5 red flags that you could save you from dating a sociopath:
1.Inflated ego. Almost every conversation I had with my ex eventually reverted back to being about him. Whether it was about how he used to be a model, or how he was an all-American lacrosse player in college, he had little interest in talking about anything but himself. Sociopaths are known for an extreme inflated sense of self, and their narcissistic tendencies leave them bringing conversations back to themselves.
2.Habitual lying and manipulating. This is where a relationship with a sociopath can really get difficult. At times, I would find myself believing 20% of what my ex was telling me. Sociopaths lie for the sake of lying. Because they are manipulative, they will lie to see how much they can get you to believe, and this, in turn, feeds that already extreme ego.
3. Having few friends. My ex was a west coast transplant, so I always attributed his lack of friendships to him being new to the state. Sociopaths tend to not want friends, unless they need them. If they do have friendships, they will be connected to them superficially, usually friends by association like coworkers.
4. Charming personalities. When I met my ex, I was amazed at how charismatic and outgoing he was. He was always charming the pants off anyone who would stop to speak with him. Sociopaths use this charm to their advantage, as they are master con artists. Psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg, author of the Human Magnet Syndrome, told The Huffington Post, “People are so amazed when they find that someone is a sociopath because they’re so amazingly effective at blending in. They’re masters of disguise. Their main tool to keep them from being discovered is a creation of an outer personality.”
5.Pleasure Seekers. Sociopaths are constantly seeking the next thrill, and if they can avoid consequences, they’ll do it over and over again. Often, they seek pleasure through sex, and see no problem with cheating. This is how my relationship finally ended, as I caught my ex cheating on me with not one, but two different women, and in the end, he showed no remorse for it, a typical sociopath.
Have you ever dated a sociopath? Are you possibly dating one now? We’d love to hear from you!
Andrea Duke is a journalism graduate from Georgia State University in Atlanta. She is currently working as a Communications Coordinator for a international financial services company. She loves food, craft beer and English Premiere League soccer and believes the combination of the three is heaven on earth. Chat with her about her story on Twitter: @wild_trapeze