Team Jolie or Team Aniston? It was one of the big debates of the 00s, with hearts all over the world were left broken after golden couple Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt called it quits.
After years of speculations about her dating life, including a brief relationship with John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston was happily married again in 2015 – this time to actor Justin Theroux. Sadly, it was not meant to be, and the couple separated in 2017. But instead of hiding away and unleashing curses on all of her exes, Jennifer surprised many people by not only turning 50 this week (does anyone know her secret?), but celebrating it with many of her exes present, proving you really can be Friends with your ex.
Want to know how it’s done? Read these tips on staying on good terms with your ex.
1. Disclaimer: it’s not for everyone.
Let’s face it, staying on good terms with your ex isn’t always going to work. If he cheated on you, stole your dog or left you thousands in debt – you’re unlikely to want to keep in touch. There are many bad reasons to stay in touch with an ex, so make sure you don’t cause each other hurt for the sake of it.
2. Give each other time.
Even the most amicable of breakups can still be painful. You’re not going to be able to build a friendship straight off the bat after you’ve called it a day. Take things slowly, keep contact light and not too personal. It’ll take time to redevelop a friendship, and if it’s meant to happen – it will happen. If there are kids in the picture, you’ll be faced with a whole different scenario, but trying to form some sort of united front can be in the best interests for the whole family.
Remember that love is weird, and just because something hasn’t worked out romantically, doesn’t mean that you can’t develop a great friendship instead. Would you really want to miss out on a valuable and long-lasting friendship?
3. Be weary around new relationships.
It takes a very secure person to be ok with their partner being friends with their ex. When introducing your ex to your new partner, be sensitive to their feelings and don’t surprise them with it. Avoid too much reminiscing about the past, and if you’re serious about your new partner, you might want to consider cooling things with your ex to give your new relationship any chance of surviving.
4. Don’t meddle in their lives.
As tempting as it is to offer advice on new partners, their career and other aspects of their lives, try to hold back on giving your opinion too much. While you might once have told each other everything, it can be easy to fall back into old habits if you try to weigh in too much.
5. Don’t put too much pressure on things.
The end of a relationship can also signal the end of a friendship, which is one of the parts that people find the hardest to let go. Aim to keep things friendly, but remember to move on with your own life too. If your friendship is meant to happen, it will grow, but it could take months or even years for the two of you to be ready for this new stage.
Breakups are never easy, but staying on good terms with an ex can keep things friendly and ease the stress of moving on. Meanwhile, focus on taking care of yourself. Show yourself some self-love, and enjoy getting back on good terms with yourself too.