Photo by Vern Ho

5 Ways to Calm Post-Breakup Anxiety

 5 Ways to Calm Post-Breakup Anxiety

By Quasia Elle 

1. Make An Appropriate Playlist.

Music opens the portal that is your soul.  You have to fill it with the right contents, words, and feels.  I’m sure you’ll still find time to cry in between, but the power lies in believing the ambiance you’ve created with the right fillers.  And please, do yourself justice and curate your own list.  Pandora’s box is closed for this occasion.  This is for you.  Personalize, experiment, and with everything you’ve been through, I’m sure a jam session is well needed.

2. Surround Yourself Around The Right People.

The reality is, not everyone wants to hear your circular black hole tale of a relationship.  It’s not that they don’t care, but that’s a release of energy everyone isn’t in a space to receive.  And, some people just aren’t great at giving the consolation you need.  Even with your broken heart, you must respect this.

Imagine comfortably being able to wake someone up at 4am because you’re having an anxiety attack.  That’s the friend who takes pride in being there for you at any moment, and that’s the friend you go to.  The one who lets you cry like someone just died, as dramatically as your inner sad boy is, then tells you that’s enough for the day whilst handing you a glass of wine.  The friend that when you start trash talking your ex and they nod in agreement but ask, “but what did you do?” to allow you perspective. They’re also ready to call out of work for the next week so y’all can find something ignorant to get into.  They’re the real MVPs.

3. PRAY.

I didn’t mention this first because I didn’t want to come off as Our Daily Bread, but I really cannot express how important this is.  Prayer can be done in so many different ways, at any time, with all requests and plea bargains; you should accomplish some form of inner peace if actively and consciously doing so.

I tend to talk to God (Allah, Great Spirit, The Universe, unconscious me), as if (s)He were someone I see as a mentor, older sibling, or my cool ass hip hop Uncles.  You can talk to them about anything because their beautifully aged wisdom knows what’s up.  You can use any language you wish because they respect how you express yourself, AND they always top your therapy session with a food run.  Soul food and brain food; I AM, SO FULL.

4. Healthy Indulgences.

Find a hobby, b.  Sometimes relationships stand in the way of individualism so much; you’ve forgotten your extra curricular activities.  Go back to those, and explore new things. Your past love has left behind their remnants and they’re not all bad.  You’ve gained a new sense of self since we tend to lose that in the “we” of it all.

This goes back to curating that playlist, dive into a thought provoking novel, catch up on Game of Thrones, and spend time with those friends who don’t mind handing you your Riesling.

5. Throw The Pity Party of the Century.

You obviously will be emotionally agitated until further notice.  Don’t fight it.  Cue Toni Braxton and cry until your swollen eyes just can’t produce waterworks any further.  I wouldn’t suggest too much aggressive catharsis, but if you feel like you need to throw that vase of flowers he got you because it was all good just a week ago, by. all. means do so. Watch Drew Barrymore until you’re a Red Sox fan (what a dreadful thought) and no longer feel the aphrodisiacs of chocolate, then guess what?  You’re going to get out of bed one day.  You’re going to realize if you don’t get back to work you may be evicted, and all that prayer will feel like it’s finally working when the spirit of calm awakens all six senses.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Allot time for proper healing, drink water, and remember you still deserve the love that is already making its way to you again.

Quasia Elle is a Millennial writer from New York. Be sure to check out her Tumblr and follow her on Twitter.

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