The end of a marriage is always difficult on both parties, whether it was a mutual decision or not. So many marriages end in fireworks and people end up hating their ex, which is such a shame. Even though you might not love one another anymore, that doesn’t take away from all of the good times that you shared together and it’s never good to leave it on bad terms. But when emotions are running high and your lives are changing so much, it can be hard to end things amicably. Hard, but not impossible. These are some of the most important things to remember if you want to end a marriage on good terms.
1. Focus On Positives As Well As Negatives
When you are speaking to your spouse about the reasons for ending the marriage, it’s important that you highlight the positives aspects as well as the negative things in the relationship. Don’t just say, we never communicate, our sex life is bad, and I don’t see a future with you. Explain to them that, although you feel that the relationship has come to an end for those reasons, you still loved the time that you spent together and you will have happy memories of the good parts of your marriage. It’s important to recognize that it wasn’t all bad and while things didn’t turn out the way that you hoped, neither of you should regret getting married in the first place.
2. Do Everything Through The Right Channels
Petty fights and arguments about who gets what from the house, or maybe even who gets custody of the children if there are any, will fuel the fire and lead to an explosive end to the marriage. But you can avoid that if you seek the right advice, like local family lawyers, as soon as you decide to get divorced. That way, you can do everything through the right legal channels from the very beginning and avoid, hopefully, avoid any big arguments.
3. Don’t Play The Blame Game
The worst thing that either of you can do is start playing the blame game. The marriage is over and that’s that, it doesn’t matter who’s fault it is. Most of the time, both of you are partly to blame anyway. Trying to assign blame to one person is only going to cause arguments and resentment, and it doesn’t help you at all.
4. Learn To Thrive On Your Own
A lot of people have ill feelings toward their ex because they’re jealous of them. If you see them going out and having fun with their friends and moving on while you’re still moping around and thinking about how things could have been different, the resentment will build and you will come to blame them for everything. But if you learn to thrive after your divorce and rebuild your life, things will be a lot easier. When you start exploring new hobbies, making new friends, and rediscovering who you are, you will be able to get to a place where you are both happy for one another.
It’s easy for a divorce to end badly, but it doesn’t help either of you, so you need to try to end things on good terms if you can.