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3 Ways to Fight off Career Envy in Your Relationship

Written by Malyka Cardwell, MFT.

Originally posted to

Are you envious of your partner’s career success? Are you starting to feel resentment? Do you feel guilty for feeling this way? If any of these questions resonate with you, you are not alone. Career envy is a common issue that many couples face. Here are a few tips to help you get over this relationship hurdle:

1. Acknowledge your own strengths. It’s easy to lose sight on what you do well when you’re feeling envious. Your attention is likely focused on all the ways you feel you don’t compare to your partner. Learn to concentrate on the things that you do well in order to fight off these feelings of inadequacy.

2. Evaluate your own career. Are you happy with where you are in your own profession? Often times your feelings of inadequacy and envy are fueled by the reality that you’re not satisfied within your own profession. Figure out what you need to in order to feel fulfilled. Fixate on elevating yourself rather than what is keeping you down.

3. Recognize success may look different for you than it does your partner. For some success may be measured through salary while for others it can be measured through experiences. What does success look like for you?  It’s important to focus on how you measure success and avoid comparing it. Be practical. Career success looks different for a doctor than it does an artist. Just because success looks different for the both of you, does not mean that either of your paths are less valid. Embrace your differences. Appreciate what you both bring to the table.

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