UR WELLREAD: It’s Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date
Reviewed and Written by Josie
If you have a negative reaction to the title of this dating book, It’s Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date (and Every Other Rule of Dating Debunked) I highly recommend you read the introduction. When I was asked to review this book (before having read it), I balked at the title. By the time I’d finished the preface I was onboard with Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser, relationship experts and the cheeky authors of this book, for writing a sensible guide about navigating the murky waters of dating and the rules that float around in them. This is not meant to be another trendy dating doctrine, like The Rules, He’s Just Not That Into You or Why Men Love Bitches. This is also not a book that advocates throwing around your panties on every date (please don’t). Instead, Syrtash and Wilser take on the subject of dating at a fresh angle by examining some common dating myths, from “pretend you’re busy if you like him” to “a man should call you, not text”–and yes, “don’t sleep with him on the first date”–and give them some honest, objective evaluation. The chapters are interspersed with amusing personal anecdotes from the authors, as well as some case studies and research that apply to each dating myth under examination. They recognize the merit in a few dating rules and challenge some others, all in an entertaining and approachable tone.
Let’s be honest, playing the modern dating game by the rules is exhausting and increasingly limiting. While rules are meant for your protection, that doesn’t mean they always perfectly apply to your situation… but then again, maybe they do. The most refreshing aspect of this book is that it trusts its readers are sensible, experienced adults who can interpret “the rules” in a way that makes sense for their personal situation and values. What if, despite all of the potential pitfalls, you find yourself attracted to a coworker? Have you ruined any chance of a serious relationship by hooking up too soon? Can you still be friends with an ex? This is where Syrtash and Wilser step in to give their readers a little perspective. By covering myths that span the flirting stage to the unfortunate (and sometimes unavoidable) breakup, there’s plenty of insight and a bit of humor for every situation. This book doesn’t presume to know what’s best for you–this book is a tool to help you strategize which rules suit you and when they might be safe to bend (or break). Wilser and Syrtash take some of the pressure off taking the dating rules so seriously and remind you that dating, above all, is meant to be fun.
