The Singles Guide to Surviving the Holidays
Written by C.B. Fletcher
Are you in the bah humbug funk of not being kissed under the mistletoe this year? It is not easy to be a solo when your Facebook newsfeed turns into a Couples Christmas album, a constant reminder that you are alone this year. Singles you’re better than the ‘maybe someday’ sigh from on looking couples. Soldier on singles, let’s beat the holiday blues.
5 Single Friends
If you are unable to have a holiday season with a special someone, make it a group thing! One of the advantages of being single is that there is no one to ‘answer to’ and you can pick up and go as you please. Pack up and fly out to a location such as Key West, Las Vegas, or Napa Valley with drinks, laughs, and cozy adventures. However, beware of the friend whose romance bashing ‘I’m still single’ bitching rant causes a catastrophic domino effect and ruins the trip. If this does start to happen make it fun by laughing at the couples who do not have your freedom, take a breath, and fall in love with your friends again. Whether coupled or single your friends will see you through it all.
The +1 Party
Couple holiday parties suck when you are a single, because the phrase you’ll find someone soon becomes as painful as a root canal. Your invitation from your coupled friends will likely encourage a +1 , because that is their way of saying “Our party is mostly couples and we’re tired of seeing you alone.” Your +1 should be a fellow single that can help you drink through the holiday love fest. When asked the dreaded ‘are you seeing anyone’ question you and your +1 should bounce off of each other to turn their attention to your other great qualities and redirect the conversation away from your love life. Keep the conversation light, your glass filled, and laughs abundant with your friendly +1.
Fall in Love With Life
While it’s natural to want to pair up, there is nothing wrong with enjoying your life alone in the meantime. Keep in mind that since you have no one to answer to, you do not have to deal with the daunting combative holiday arrangements that most couples have to deal with. Since everyone is away schmoozing up under mistletoe, discover the world outside of love and see how it complements your life. Have a 1:1 with yourself about who you want to be for you, not the possible lover. There will always be a life before and after your love.
The Ex Factor
Avoid the urge to call your ex! Although the idea of rekindling your love for one night is tempting, don’t do it. Remember that they are your ex for a reason, which you will realize after you wake up from your unfulfilling one night stand. It doesn’t matter if it is some Beyoncè ‘Partition’ –like thrill in the sac, the feeling of emptiness will be greater than the ecstasy and you’re right back to being the lonely single.
Wishing on a Star
If there is no trip to be planned, no journey to self-fulfillment, or party to roll your eyes at, take the time to open your heart for love. Sometimes we block our own blessing of love. We are aggressively flirtatious and simultaneously overbearing in relationship demands, because the pain from the past blocks our hope for the future. Let it go. Be fearless in opening your heart and fill it with the hope of finding love. Instead of snarling at the cuddling couples, admire them and raise your glass to your wish of possible love in the next year.
C.B. Fletcher is an entrepreneur and writer in Atlanta that contributes to The Urban Realist, Breath of Life Daily, Concrete Cakes, Ms. Nix in the Mix, and Regal Realness. She has contributed to relationship books Super Singles Activate (2010) and The Soulphisticated Ladies Dating Diaries (2013). She enjoys writing about her passions which are love, events, food, business, and anything unique. Check out what she is up to www.twitter.com/CNegarita