UR DATING: 4 Ways To Tell You’re In the Friend Zone
Written by Andrea Duke
The friend zone: A gray area of the unknown. Similar to quicksand, you’re stuck, and the harder you try to fight your way out, the deeper you’ll sink. It happens to the best of us, but what clues should you be looking for to avoid being oblivious to being stuck in that dreaded middle ground?
Recently I was friend zoned, and began to notice about four to five dates in. I wanted so badly to keep ignoring the signs that I knew were leading me down the road to friendship instead of a relationship. The guy I was seeing was so nice. I’m talking brought me flowers, opened my car door, held the umbrella while it was pouring rain type of nice. He was proving to me that chivalry wasn’t dead, and that was refreshing. A few dates in however, I started to pick up on some things that were solidifying my intuition. Not every situation is going to be the same, but here are a few clues that you may be entering the friend zone:
1. Communication: The second you start feeling like communication has dwindled, or that he’s talking to you like your best friend would, take that as a hint. At first, I was talking to him constantly, and then gradually it was becoming painfully obvious that we were chatting like two acquaintances. He quit complimenting me, and starting to talk to me about petty things.
2. Body Language: This one was a huge indicator for me. We’d been on about ten dates, and never once did he make any sort of advances towards me. Hugging was about as intimate as we’d become in a two month period.
3. Dates: More isn’t merrier when it comes to dates. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that “group dates” are a good thing, because if you’re hanging out with his friends playing videos games, girl, that’s not a date, and chances are, he doesn’t think it is either.
4.“Kiddo”: This term is pretty much the kiss of death. Whether he says it in a text, in person, or on the phone, its bad news. Consider this the end of the road for all hopes of ever having a relationship with him especially if he starts calling you names like he would his little sister.
Next time you are feeling a little uneasy about where you stand with a guy you’re trying to date, keep these clues in mind. As hard as it is, you’ll be happy you saved yourself the embarrassment of finding out you’re just a friend.
Andrea Duke is a journalism graduate from Georgia State University in Atlanta. She is currently working as a Communications Coordinator for a international financial services company. She loves food, craft beer and English Premiere League soccer and believes the combination of the three is heaven on earth. Chat with her about her story on Twitter: @wild_trapeze