This Friday marks the return of last summer’s breakout hit Orange Is the New Black. From the Shakespearean soliloquies of Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren to resident crazy Tiffany “Pennsatucky” Doggett, we can’t possibly begin to detail all the ways in which the ladies of Litchfield stole our hearts. Dedicating an entire post to Taystee alone would be all too easy.
Like any experienced binge-watcher, we’ve got a multitude of excuses to stay in for the premiere this Friday. But in case you’re still in need of convincing, check out just a few of the reasons we’ll be tuning in to watch season two of the Netflix original this Friday!
1. Larry/Piper/Alex– Its a love triangle as old as time. Girl meets Girl. Girls fall in love. Girl meets and falls in love with Boy years later, only to be thrown in jail with Girl from before. Okay so maybe not, but it makes for great TV.
2. Officer Bennett and Daya– What started out as flirtation got pretty hot and heavy. One pregnancy and a couple of schemes later, we’re dying to know where their story line will pick up.
3. TAYSTEE!!!– You nay not have survived your stint outside of prison for very long, but you’re always a welcome face on our
TV computer screens! And as always Taystee, thanks for delivering the truth quite like no one else can. 4. Officer George “Pornstache” Mendez– Oh Pornstache. You basically run a monopoly on prison skeezeball, but even when you’re a total ass, we kind of love you for it (if only because your nickname is Pornstache). 5. Changing of the Chairs- Thanks to some of Pornstache’s shenanigans and an always cantankerous Officer Healy we saw the end of Red’s reign as head of the kitchen and Mother Hen of the roost. The balance has been thrown. Who knows where things could lead. 6. Tiffany “Pennsatucky” Doggett– There’s no denying it. Girl is bat shit crazy, but the season one finale left us all wondering what the former method and religious fanatic’s fate would be. 7. Chapman vs. Doggett– The arch enemies duked it out at the end of the last season, and with Piper surprising everyone by delivering quite the beating, we’re curious where that leaves her. 8. But if we’ve learned anything about Chapman from season one, it’s not to count her out too soon. Comment or tweet us @TheUrbanRealist to let us know if you’ll be watching, and as always binge responsibly!